im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC