plz talk dirty to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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