Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize