I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
