Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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