"it" just moved
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
