I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
