he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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