Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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