Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
