It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
