If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think people are normalizing furries
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
