Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
