Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
