I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize