At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
