I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
