hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
