My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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