what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
