WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
