You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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