But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have post one night stand depression
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