I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
