So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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