Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
