Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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