Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
