do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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