I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
