youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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