Porn is love you can see.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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