i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
