shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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