super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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