bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
