saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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