problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
