Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
