he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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