Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize