Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the condom got lost in my hair
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ok first of all what the fuck
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
