I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
