You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
