he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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