I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
