At least make sure they are 18
Why
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
