he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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