I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
