I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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