So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
