escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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