i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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