You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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