dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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