it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
