Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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