Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
