wanna go halves on a baby?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
