Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He? As in you personified your dick?
Terrible idea I love it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
